Betrayal

In case all of you are wondering....yes there is truth behind this piece of work!

Do you look back

To that time

When we first met?

There we were 2 people

Lost in the crowd

Looking here and there

Till something clicked

And u were suddenly my friend

We spoke, we laughed

Our togetherness was the talk of the town

And with the changing colours of the seasons

Our bond grew stronger,

My trust for u grew,for a lot of reasons

I opened up,told u things

Things that I hadn’t even dealt with myself

You were my closest friend

But suddenly all of it came to an end

You really thought I’d never know

What u were actually doing behind my back

Haven’t you heard that what u reap is what u sow

I was hurt but thank god I know now what you lack

Thanks to u I am wiser now

A better judge of character

With a strong iron heart

Rise higher from the point where I fall

Did u really think I would let u get away with this after all?

I would have died for u,

Died rather than do what u did to me

But those times have changed now

And now u face my back

You’ll never be a part of my life again

Never again will u be called my friend

You broke my trust when I needed u the most

That mockery of feelings shall not be forgotten

I have learnt from what I have done back then

I will not be fooled again

Never will I trust u again

Not u or anyone else

This state of mind,this phase wont pass

Coz I have been betrayed by a Friend!

-Priyanka Dutt

24.7.2011

This is not the End

Driving through the country side with you, on a winter day,

I sit quite, staring out the window,

Everything is speeding by,

All I do is let out a sigh….

We haven’t spoken since we left, there is so much I need to say,

A lot needs to be sorted out;

You let it linger, things are getting colder here between us,

All I want to do is stop the car and talk things out….

The world is slowing down for me,

I need to get this out of me;

You know it too but you choose to oversee,

And drive on, not knowing this silence is killing me….

I thought we’d be together longer

We were both sure this was getting stronger;

Everything was fine, then what suddenly went wrong?

Why do I feel your hand is slipping away through my fingers?

You keep asking me to wait and hold on

That’s all I have been doing for so long, trying not to break down and cry

I’m tired of waiting now, and carry on like nothing’s wrong

Pretending I am fine, when I clearly see the sun is setting in your eyes

People say something’s are best left unsaid,

But everyone is just messing with my head;

I asked you in the 1^st place to choose n decide wisely,

But I guess this was all in our destiny…

You told me you loved me ,

Then why are u leaving me?

Letting things slip away like this,

Not even trying to save this, letting it go so easily….

How long will I do this on my own?

I need you to work with me;

Isn’t it evident after all that we have been through…..

That I need you, and you need me?

This frustration, your negligence

The irritation, all the disagreements

Coming between us along with your coldness

Creating barriers and turning things into fragments

Have I not done enough?

Or do you want more?

Is it still wrong of me to expect something out of you in return?

Come on, end this pain, I’m tired and sore….

Open your eyes,

I know we can make this work;

A lil more effort is all I ask,

It’s time for both of us to make some amends,

Coz I refuse to accept that this is the end…..

I need your help

I repeat my words again and again;

You mean the world to me,

This is not something that I expect,

Once more just help me connect…..

-Priyanka Dutt

03.02.2010

Haunted

I’m haunted by a feeling
A feeling that doesn’t leave
It brings me pain & tears
Won’t go away, even if I plead

I sit alone and loose myself
Remembering all the times we spent
And my eyes swell up with tears till the brim
Knowing exactly why this is how I felt

Now I am getting closer to you
Than I ever thought,
The memories of happiness hurt more now
It pains more than the times we fought

Finally the time is here when we have to part
You have to leave and carry on
Meet new people and forget your past
But I don’t think I am ready yet, I can’t move on

I don’t want you to go
But I can’t even let it show
I can’t fight what I can’t see
Those memories still haunt me
I’m tired of hiding & pretending I am fine
But baby, I’m sore, I can’t fight this feeling anymore………

It hurts so much to see you
With someone other than me,
But your smile is like a pain relief
Your happiness is all that matters to me

It burns me up inside
When you say I should be with someone else,
It fills me up with silent rage
I am yours forever and I don’t want anyone else

Why can’t you see it?
Is it too hard to understand?
I’ll scream my lungs out and express myself
Will you still live in denial?

I don’t want your arms around someone else
But I know I can’t stop you
I know you’ll leave today or tomorrow
My love is not strong enough to stop you

Maybe you don’t care, but I do;
So much to smile and hide my feelings for you
And watch you walk away with your heart content
I’ll wince in pain, yet I won’t stop you

I’m in enough pain, my heart is broken
Shattered into tiny pieces
I’ve accepted my future with you no more
But let me cry today and ease myself
Coz baby I can’t fight these feelings anymore……..



-Priyanka Dutt
(13.2.09)

Evolution

There is music in the air,
I want to sing, dance and play
Let me enjoy and cherish the moment
Before the clock ticks away and it is lost forever

There is romance in the air
I want to taste your lips one last time
Let me enjoy and cherish this moment
Before the clock ticks away and it’s gone forever

I see tension in the air
Everyone serious and deep in thoughts
Let me put in my best n seal this moment
Before the clock ticks away and the chance is gone forever

Time has passed by
And my youth is gone forever, now I, sit and relax
Let me enjoy and cherish all the moments
Before the clock ticks away and I am gone forever

-Priyanka Dutt
4.1.09

Silent Cries

What have I done to deserve this?
All I did was love him
Is that a crime so big?
Then punish me, oh god I plead

I never asked him to love me back,
Or to show that he cares
Then why do I suffer, Every time I show I care
He moves away further n further

He wants me not to care
Because it reminds him of her
He tries pushing me away
But I feel closer to him than ever

I ask again, why do I have to suffer?
My intention is not hurt him
I want him to love me back? Never!
The thought of upsetting him makes me shiver

No matter how much I try
To make him happy, I fail, I fear;
Why doesn’t anyone understand me?
Why can’t anyone see the invisible tears?



-Priyanka Dutt
2.01.09

THanks Anurupa...

ok guys!i have been a total,major moron for the past few days for reasons i cant disclose!but even though i have been a major psycho case,turns out my frnds are wackier than me for bearing up with my nonsense n not leaving me alone n sticking to me like parasites when i begged them to leave me in solitude!n THANK GOD they dont listen to me![only in this matter ok!]so they do everything they can to just keep me talking,smsing all nite,calling at odd hours,chatting,leaving 1000s of scraps,also mindless numerous PJs to keep me going!but this one has to be the best n the most special thing anyone has done so far!Anurupa actually wrote a poem to getm e out of my insanity n it actually worked becoz its really touchy,with another touchy letter!so Anurupa,babe,thanks a ton!it worked!i feel a lot better!n i am ready to kick some ass again!ur a darling n i'll keep ur letter n poem with me for years to come,i swear!n i shall post ur poem here n then add another verse to it as my reply to u!so here is wat she wrote:-

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental

To reach out for another is to risk involvement

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your trueself

To place your dreams,Your ideas before someone is to risk their loss

To love is to risk being not loved in return

To live is to risk dying

To hope is to risk despair

To try is to risk failure

but risks should be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing!the person who risks nothing has nothing and is nothing!

i wont forget these words,honestly!touched a special place in my heart pal!

ppl this has to be the best poem in this blog becoz it comes from a gal's heart who selflessly cares for her frnd!anurupa,u have showed the true meaning of friendship,just like the rest of my loony pals, which most of the ppl have forgotten now,and you certainly deserve a special place not only in this blog but also in my heart!

here's wat i wanna tell u:-

Depression makes everything sad

it really makes even the happiest person feel really bad

At this moment one really feels alone

becomes bitter and if its me,turns into a stone

but then again like there is day after every night

Friends come in like Angels to make things right

You didnt care about the cause of the problem

all you cared that i smiled again,asusual being really frank

made it your mission,till again merrily i sang

and all i have to say is "mission accomplished my friend"

The power of your friendship worked,you got my out of the trance

and all i want to tell you is

"thanks thanks thanks"

alright i knw this ones silly but hey i still love u babes!youmake my world shine bright!

seriously guys,u have to admit,when it comes to having good frnds i am the luckiest person alive!

The Reason Is You

well i know its been long since i have written something but last night if i hadn't expressed this on paper i swear I'd have gone mad!this is for someone who came really close to me despite me trying to keep him away!i guess my will power isn't as strong as his!nevertheless things happened last night n we may never speak to each other again,actually i wont be able to speak to him after everything that happened!so this is actually what i wanted to tell him but i couldn't because i have poor communication skills!so this is for u, The Gay Guy,i hope we never meet again,u may think I'll forget u but u touched a part of my heart which makes it impossible for me to forget u,But it also makes it impossible for me to see u or talk to u!u were rite, saying something is easier than doing it actually!my feelings did get the better of me.......so i wish u well kishori!take care!this is for u:-

The reason I smiled again, was you
The reason sun shined again for me, was you
The reason I cared again, was you
The reason I dared again, was you
The reason I forgot my past, was you
The reason I moved on, was you
The reason I felt alive again, was you
The reason I felt free again, was you
The reason I was bold again, was you
The reason I was confident enough to try again, was you
My morning started with you,
My day ended with you,
My strength was you,
To some extent my weakness was also you
But now,
The reason I am weak again, is you
The reason I am wounded again, is you
The reason I am injured again, is you
The reason I cry again, is you
The reason I am silent again, is you
The reason I am numb again, is you
The reason I am into myself again, is you
The reason I write after days, is only you
The wound hurts and the pain is too much
But I still stand by what I said,
That is even after all this I am still happy for you!

-Priyanka Dutt (29.10.08)